It’s interesting, this is the first time in my entire life that I’ve gone more than 3 days without working out. I’ve been in a gym since I was 17. I’ve been taking some form of a stimulant like ephedra (when it was still legal) or pre workout, since 1999. For the entire month of March, and the first week of April, in total, I’ve worked out 3 times in a gym. I’ve had pre-workout once. Usually, I could go 2 days, 3 at most, without working out before my body image issues would start to raise their nasty heads. (I say head’s plural because I have a lot of fun voices in my head)
But for whatever reason, I’ve found that I’ve been ok being ok in my skin. I’m not sure what’s happened, but I can tell you what has definitely helped: Being around a deaf person for the past couple of days.
I’ve been fine in general without working out. But over the past two days, I’ve really started to notice how self-centered and insignificant my negative self talk is due to the fact that I’m staying in someone’s house who is deaf. My wing-women is Tori. She’s married to a gent who lost his hearing completely around the age of 7. He can read lips and ‘had’ a cochlear until it died a few months back (costs $10,000 to replace since they have a monopoly on it). I didn’t realise how privileged I am, until I see (no pun intended) how much of an impact not being able to hear has on a person’s life.
Tori and I have been talking about how many people have been shot by the police for not responding to commands like “freeze” or hearing sirens, and have been blatantly shot in the head. Speaking about it gets me all fired up, and my wheels turning, like what could we do to help identify people who are deaf? But when you do that, it makes deaf people a target. …..
Here is this man in his late 20’s, who walks around smiling, and is so pleasant all the time, not dwelling on his situation.
I’ve decided that when I get to Vegas, Thursday evening April 26th, I’ll be standing on Fremont Street in a bikini holding a sign saying “will flex for a cochlear”. Stay posted and stay focused on moving forward. Our body does not dictate our worth. Be grateful for what we have, and not what the media programs us to feel like we “don’t” have….