I had the craziest moment happen today. It was what I’d call a “God Shot”. As most of you know, years ago I used to get paid a lot of money to make videos to do random ‘features of strength’. Whether I was beating men arm wrestling, picking them up and carrying them around, or being dominate and bossing blokes around, it was great money. It was also an incredible eye-opening experience for me, because it was at this point in my life that I started to realize the world was not at ALL what I thought it was. For a full deep-dive into this, visit www.grrrlfilm.com and check out our documentary.

So, one of my friends from recovery from way back in the day reached out and asked if I had a few words of inspiration to try and help her guide her 14 year old Daughter. She was having a hard time navigating the whole “be skinnier” challenge, and wasn’t sure how to best approach it. So speaking of documentaries I of course said, “Right- go to www.grrrlfilm.com and watch this documentary with her. This will give her context as to who I am and what I’m doing. Then I’ll talk to her myself after you have watched it.”

A week went by and I got a message. They had watched the documentary and they loved it. We arranged a time to connect on the phone.

Doing what I love to do  and what I was born to do, I got on the phone with my new 14 year old little Sister. I spoke to her straight from the heart and from the hip for a good 20 minutes. I gave her a plan, a purpose, and connections. Then made a date to meet in Vegas for GL19, and explained how Friday night we were having a special teen session with myself and size Brionii, aka our NextGen leader.

Then, after we hung up the phone it dawned on me that I had actually met her! I said, “O.M.G.!!!! You’re not going to believe this. But I believe I recall meeting you briefly when you were just a tiny baby!”. I said, “well- you watched the documentary. The world is not what you think it is my Friend. And you were actually a part of my journey in discovering this for a second in time!”. Her dad had volunteered to star as one of my “victims” in a commissioned video clip, and needed to bring her over to the house with him. She started crying at one point, so I had to pick her up!

You see- when you are authentic and have “been there/done that” and have a message of truth and real-ness, teens listen. Not just teens, but people in general. Being authentic is freeing.

So there you go… 13 years ago, I was still abusing pain pills, trying to navigate my way through recovery, hating my body, making money in this new world that made absolutely zero sense to me and holding babies. Now, these babies are talking to a leader who has a specific role for them in this revolution we call GRRRL.

See you in Vegas babygrrrl!

CEO on the go.

 

A few weeks ago I was in Hong Kong on business. In a mad rush, I went to initiate an international bank transfer in the amount of $25,000. I stupidly put the transaction reference ID number into the field where the account number was meant to go. With it pouring rain outside, I grabbed my purse and dashed out of my Eco hotel to make another meeting.Later that night, I received an email from the bank. Due to suspicious activity I needed to submit some information in order to unlock my account. This of course was an issue, because I had a tiny window of time to make this transaction happen. Which is par for course when you’re running a global operation on a shoestring budget… EVERYTHING is a tiny window. Timing is everything.

Because I was overseas, I needed to submit paperwork, my passport, and Drivers license. After doing my best to stay calm, I managed to get the front desk to print out some paperwork, take some photo copies, and arranged a call back with the bank an hour prior to my next meeting the next day. Come to find out, my Drivers license had expired 3 days prior, and now they needed a copy of my bank card.

Took another deep breath.

Got another hotel desk to photocopy and fax internationally. Got another call right before my meeting, “the copy needs to be darker”, and my window has practically shut, costing me a couple of thousands of dollars in exchange rates.

Long story short, I managed to barely slide in and get info submitted, stuff unlocked, orders paid for, and all meetings on time whilst keeping composure. There’s nothing more frustrating to me than being in a foreign country with little money, little time, and the inability to communicate.

By time I made it to the airport, I had a MAJOR case of the fuck-its. Blazing through security, I got to the terminal and discovered I had zero food choices. So, I went with the “lets buy every piece of chocolate I can recognise and pronounce” option, and proceeded to eat my body weight in a garden variety of candy bars. Legit,

Malt teasers

Brick of Toblerone

Kitkats

M&M’s… peanut butter filled (yeaaaaaaaaaa I kno datsssssss right!)

Sport Riser, hazelnut

And finally, a variety bag of mini Hershey’s chocolates!

In the 20 minutes I had before boarding my flight, I ate damn near all of it except the variety bag. And the Sport Riser.

About 3 hours into the flight, an hour before landing, I ate the Sport Riser, then had a few more mini Hershey’s. Then it all started to set it. I started to actually process my binging experience, and what caused it. I reflected upon that it’d been almost a year since I’d done something similar. Last October, I went on a binge fest eating nuts in the middle of nearly divorcing.

Historically, I was never a consecutive binge eater. I either would restrict calories, and then purge off of eating the smallest thing. I’ve gone through different phases since high school, which primarily consisted of meth, cough syrup, and narcotics to change the way I felt about my body and damper my appetite. I’ll leave it at that, because the issue with discussing too much detail with eating disorders, is that we give each other ideas. This is why group therapy is tricky in ED recovery.

But, the point of this blog, was I had a bit of a breakthrough moment. For the first time in nearly forever, I didn’t sit with feelings of guilt, followed by “how am I going to work this off tomorrow?”, thoughts. Aka, punishment. I sat there in my 3 row of empty seats laying down, with a book on my lap, and thought about how lucky I was to even have the opportunity to buy all that chocolate in the first place. I thought about how much shit I had made it through that day, and that I stayed clean and sober yet another day. 8+ years ago, I would have crumbled and gone straight into the bar.

I didn’t sit and think thoughts of needing to justify why it was ok, or wasn’t ok. It just was! As I continued to lay on the seats, I decided that I’d keep a handful in the freezer for those non-vegan days where I felt like having something tasty. I also decided that I was going to stop by the homeless man who sleeps outside on a piece of cardboard around the corner of my house, and place a couple by his head while he slept. Instead of looking at that chocolate episode as some kind of tragic event, or justify it- feel guilty about it… I simply thought how grateful I was for everything that I have, and that I was free to make the choice to even buy it all (arguably when you’re in that mode as a binge eater, you don’t have a choice- until you learn tools). I was excited to share my chocolate with my homeless Friend. We’ve never spoken. We don’t speak the same language. But whenever he’s woken up when I was walking home from the gym, we always smile and laugh with each other.

I kind of knew that he’d know that I left it. And although they were bars and not kisses, I’d hope that he knew someone was thinking of him.

If you are experiencing issues with binge eating and need help, I highly recommend attending GL19, June 1-2nd weekend 2019. Debbie Lichter, author of Freedom From Food Addiction . Com and the congruence code, will be holding a mainstage presentation along with 2 breakout workshops. Click the link here to visit the GRRRL:Live page.

CEO on the go.

I want to talk a little about our fearless leader Kortney Olson. Most people out there see the end result of her tireless hard work. We see the polished finished product and we think man, this person has it easy, they have their life completely together, they have it made.  Look at this brand! Look at these amazing clothes. Look  at her long history of accomplishments and her ever growing following. It’s all so glamorous and enviable. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kz3t2ZpwxQ

Kortney Killing it on Jimmy Kimmel live for National Watermelon day!

It would be easy to assume these things when you haven’t seen or understood the sheer labor of blood, tears and sweat that has gone into birthing GRRRL Clothing and every endeavor that has come before. When you haven’t encountered closed door after closed door and No after No.  But, thankfully we have a leader that is tenacious and unashamed in allowing us to see and become a part of it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am grateful for her openness, it’s refreshing and so necessary in this world of social perfectionism and smoke and mirrors.

When you truly see and understand the personal sacrifice that is GRRRL Clothing,  i’m not sure you would want that burden or even have the balls to take it on. The work that is involved behind the scenes. The countless hours. The non existence of down time, no vacations, no days off.  It takes a special kind of woman to keep showing up day after day with unstoppable optimism.

Do you know what I love most about Kortney Olson?  I could easily pick her amazing legs or her well defined upper body. I could choose her beauty and energy, charisma. I could choose her fitness or her ability to pretty much do anything  and make a friend out of anyone at anytime. I love all of those things! They are certainly attractive qualities but, its not what I love most.

My favorite thing about KO is her willingness to be vulnerable. Its her willingness to let us see that there are days when she doesn’t have it together, there are days when she doesn’t have the answer. Heck there are even days when she questions if she is strong enough to see her dream through to the finish. But, never once has she given up. That speaks volumes to me about her quality of character and her motivations for her brand. Anyone who didn’t want to make the world a better place would have crumbled up into the fetal position and sucked their thumb while muttering obscenities in the dark. It’s never been about the clothing or the money. It’s immensely bigger than that.

The MFCEO in Forbes Magazine!!

I appreciate that I have been privileged enough to share in her struggle and that we have been allowed to be present in her most desperate moments  just as much as the headline worthy moments. It is because of this openness that we have all become part of this brand along side her.  It’s why the GRRRL ARMY will show up and keep showing up no matter what the situation or circumstance. Remember our recent crowd funding campaign? the army showed up in full force.  The MFCEO keeps showing up for us day in and day out regardless of her personal life situations, marriage or finances.  Her resilience and selflessness is inspiring. You can never really doubt where someone’s heart is when you’ve seen everything they have sacrificed for their dream. It’s pretty hard to not be inspired by someone like that and I’m not the only one that feels this way, after all she has inspired an entire army of women.

With that said Recently there has been a lot to celebrate and I could not be any prouder of this tenacious leader of ours. The excitement has been real.  From the Times – Standard News  to Jimmy Kimmel Live and Forbes Magazine!!! Its like KO is taking the world by storm and honestly it’s inevitable that she will. If anyone was to ever take over the world, I have no doubt it would be KO. I seriously do not know why ELLEN hasn’t had her on the show yet. I am pretty sure she will regret not having her on someday soon. Come on Ellen if you’re reading this what are you waiting for? Check out the letter we wrote you a while back, The MFCEO needs to be on your show and there is an army of women behind her that will tell you the same.

Anyways, if any of you have missed the recent news because you have been buried under a rock somewhere or maybe in a monastery in Tibet. Here are all of the amazing things Kort has been up too recently. What I love most about our MFCEO is that we share in the struggle but man when there is something to celebrate we celebrate hard. I know she is already off hustling on her next objective however, I think we all need to stop , appreciate and acknowledge these victories and keep celebrating for her as she keeps leading the charge.

 

 

Keep fighting the good fight

Kelly aka Spunky xo

Hey grrrl heyyyyyyyy!

It’s been a while since I sat down to write a blog.  We’ve had @spunkycanuck on the blog and doing such a wonderful job, that I’ve been slacking!  Anyway, the purpose of this blog is to share some info with you that I’ve yet to try out, but wanted to get a jump start on helping share the info.

A lot of you know our Long time grrrlfriend @firehoseincarnita on IG.  She’s been battling some crazy-ass mold issue that is basically trying to kill her.  But in true grrrl spirit, she’s fighting through it like a BOSS!  Anyway, Gretchen knows that I have to pee ALL THE TIME.  So she hooked me up with the gals over at Apex Medical.  They sent me this magical wand you stick up the vajayjay that uses electrical stimulation to cause your pelvic floor muscles to contract.

 

Now, personally I think the reason I have to pee all the time is because I generally drink a gallon of water a day.  But since I’ve been basically living out of a suitcase since March 1st, I’ve dropped my water intake dramatically and haven’t found myself having to pee nearly as much as usual.  And to be frank, I have a really strong pelvic floor and great muscle control.  (Confirmed by my last planned parenthood visit lol)

That being said, I know we have A LOT of women who’ve done the miraculous act of pushing a TINY HUMAN out of their body, and find themselves peeing when hitting certain lifts hard, jumping, or doing other various activities.

Keep in mind I have yet to try this machine out myself yet,  I do NOT get paid to promote in any way, shape or form, and  I don’t have a discount code to offer you.  Just a pathway to explore.

And in the meantime, if Bear Guilles can drink his own piss and survive, I don’t see it a problem that anyone tinkles a bit when training.  Or laughing.  Or sneezing for that matter!

I’ll report back once I get onto test driving the “wand”, but in the meantime, if any of you want to check it out, you can find their website https://www.incontrolmedical.com

PEE ON GRRRLS!  OUR BODIES SERVE MANY FUNCTIONS, AND ARE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!

Love

MFCEO

That feeling when you go away but it’s just like coming home. That’s what reading Lydia Valentine’s story about what GRRRL Live meant to her reminds me of.

“Ever since I became aware of GRRRL Live and it’s inception in 2017, I knew I needed to go.  I had already followed GRRRLS from all over and I wanted to meet them all. Rarely do I stay interested and passionate about things in the “fitness” industry. But, I have only grown more involved and intense about this brand and what it’s about.

I work a full-time job on a college campus that prevents me from leaving town during the school year. But when the opportunity came up for me to attend GRRRL Live 2018, I did everything in my power to make it happen.

I had had a long few weeks before the weekend of GL and found out last minute that I could get coverage at my job, so I made a decision and did it. I was so tired from the week when Friday rolled around (my flight was at 10pm) I almost wasn’t excited about it; I just wanted to sleep. But I’m so happy I made it happen.

Through the GRRRL Facebook page I was able to find one of my GRRRLS who was landing around the same time as I was. We took an Uber to the Golden Nugget together.  She ended up being my closest friend for the weekend and we always knew we had someone to hangout with. Shout-out to Krystal Schmidt for being my airport buddy! We finally got to the hotel. But, sadly it was after the pool party had finished and we hadn’t seen any GRRRLS until we went to the lobby to check in. Who was the first person we saw? None other than Kortney Olson herself!! There may or may not have been some crying. I was exhausted but, I’ve never felt more comfortable around a group of women.

For 2 days I forgot about my other worries. I let myself feel completely free and comfortable in the company of these amazing women. They were nothing but welcoming, friendly and loving. All things good. I tend to get caught up with how I look. I’m afraid of doing things that I want to do in fear of looking stupid and I worry about what others might think.  At GRRRL Live I was entirely free from that feeling. I learned about myself, and how to be a better person for the people in my life

You know when you get so accustomed to something and you figure that’s just how it is? But, then you try this other thing and it’s so much better? and you’re like, “this is how it’s SUPPOSED to be.” That’s how I felt when I was surrounded by these women. I was accepted for me exactly as I am. I normally surround myself with supportive people but this was a whole new level!

GRRRL will always be a part of me and I couldn’t be more thankful that I had the chance to attend GRRRL Live 2018.”

Changing the game one GRRRL at a time

Spunky

 

I had a lot of fun in the body confidence break away session at GRRRL Live and I know all of you GRRRL’s did too! There was so much energy and freedom in the room that day.  Here is what Yassmin Diab  had to share on her experience with teaching us all about the beautiful art of belly dancing:

 

“What an absolutely incredible opportunity this was, not only to be present for GRRRL Live 2018, but to be a part of teaching a workshop with 2 other bad ass women.

When I approached Kortney after GL17 about teaching a belly dance workshop, I was really doing so on a whim.  Kortney didn’t know very much about me outside of being a part of the GRRRL Facebook group, and that I live in Vegas.  But she was all for it!  How thrilled was I?!  A few months later, she emailed me about combining dance workshops to create one MEGA workshop, and that sounded like WAY too much fun to pass up!!

I’ve been a student of Arab Dance for 15 ½ years.  I’ve taught various classes and workshops over the past 10.  This was by far the most challenging, and the most rewarding.

I say challenging, because I’m used to teaching for an hour to an hour and a half.  The structure of this workshop allotted myself and the other two GRRRLS about 35 minutes each.   Who doesn’t love a challenge?

Preparing was hard.  There is SO much material that I wanted to cover, I overwhelmed myself a bit.  I’d go off on crazy tangents, I had well over 3 hours of music to sort through and select.  However, with the help of my amazing GRRRL Supporting husband, I got the structure, the material, and the music laid out and ready.

I loved the concept of the workshop, too:  Body confidence through movement!  Leslie and Iryss both brought incredible classes!  Leslie’s twerkshop was super high energy, and had GRRRLS dancing on the walls!!  Iryss brought the super sexy chair dancing, strutting, and hair tossing!  It was amazing to share time with them.

GL18 was incredible.  There were so many important topics discussed over the weekend, I can’t possibly describe all of them with the attention and accolades they deserve. One that did have a profound impact on me was the Intersectional Feminism talk and the Panel. This tied directly into my portion of the workshops the next day:  as a white woman who studies, performs, and teaches Arab dance, I am always conscious about cultural appropriation.  I don’t want to pick and choose bits and pieces of the dance, leave the rest, and claim it as my own.  I have the utmost respect and love for Arab culture.  I study with Arab musicians, dancers, and teachers. This dance is someone’s culture. I have a responsibility to educate my students about it. Even if it’s something as brief as making a statement about where the dance originates from before diving into movement, or using as many of the Arabic terms for movements as possible. 

Having the opportunity to not only educate the incredible GRRRLS who took the class about the origins of one of the oldest dance forms in the world. And also sharing my passion, and hopefully help impart a bit of the confidence that studying dance has granted me, has been an incredible experience.   Every single GRRRL present did an amazing job picking up the minute and a half routine I presented.  I couldn’t be more proud and more humbled to have been a part of this incredible event.  I hope there will be opportunities in the future for me to do this again, and again, and again!! ”

 

Changing the game one GRRRL at a time

Spunky 

Sisters. 

As we’re rolling into GL18- I thought I’d share some thoughts with you. 

This screenshot of my personal accounts are all negative balances except my checking account with $184.07 in it. 

The $25,000 loan and my credit card just bridging $7,000 are all expenses from GL17. 

I’m not financially irresponsible, just uneducated.

My dad got me my first pretend checkbook when I was 14?  But when I started using drugs and drinking at 17, needless to say I wasn’t the most financially responsible person. I remember the first time I learned I owed my bank $1200 from the mysterious “reserve line” I wasn’t even aware I had.  Apparently when you deposit a check, only $100 of it is available for the first 24 hours until it clears.  #whoops. I also remember when I bought my first house, and after the first year, I looked at the actual statement, and noticed that I had basically paid zero off the principal of the loan, and that my mortgage of $2300 was going towards interest.  I was gutted.  I hate owing people money, I hate being late on payments, and I always do my best to keep my credit score in at least the Low 700’s.

Anyway, I digress…..

Financial insecurity has always been a ‘thing’ for me.  I grew up in a hard working middle class family.  I never went without anything, but I was always feelings like we never had enough.  Could potentially be alcoholism, but I don’t have the mental capacity to go into that right now.

This picture was yesterday, 12 hours at a desk working on the event, but I’m actually writing this blog from the back of a van, with bags of inventory piled around me in trash bags as myself and my two wing grrrls, drive towards Vegas for 2018.  I still have a lot to do leading up to this event which is only FIVE DAYS away from happening now.  But at least unlike last year (our first year), I wasn’t just diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism and sleep deprived for 2 weeks!

But as we roll into GL18, I look at the debts I took on from my personal account, to pull this event off.  We took out several loans, and have spent the majority of 2017 paying them off, but have yet to touch my personal debts.  The credit card was used for AV costs, and the cash flow manager loan was used to pay The Artisan hotel, to take over the hotel.

Clearly, we had to learn that lesson the hard way.  After GL17, there were SEVERAL times we nearly rolled up our doors due to the inability to get ahead.  But of course, we’ve always found a way, and looking back on our recent IGG campaign, YOU all found a way……

So now, with GL18 just days away, I noticed that I’m starting to get on edge, and had to question why.  Of course there is a lack of preparation.  We spent 10 days from April 8-18th packing up our warehouse and shipping out 700 orders.  Not great timing in retrospect to be doing that RIGHT before your second annual event.

But I realised that a big part of this edginess comes from that rooted fear of financial insecurity.

But the reality is, financial security is an illusion.  And this is why I’m writing this blog.  If you’re like me, you can easily look at numbers in your account, and let that dictate your mood, or feeling of success.  I can quickly look in my personal account and become overwhelmed and think “what the actual fuck are we doing?”.

Then I think back to the 8 year old who came and met me yesterday after talking to her on the phone a little over a month ago about why she should love her body, and not feel like she is anything less than perfect.  I think about the tears that rolled down her face as we finished saying The Pledge together, and I know that financial insecurity is an illusion.  I think back to the day prior to that, and look at the footage we captured of Amber Gallegos interpreting (signing) a video for us, and explaining the importance of bringing awareness to the deaf community and how we need to do better as a society.

I also think of every member of the grrrlarmy who has had her life changed by this brand.  And whilst my Grandmother might not see the value in what we’re doing because all she ever hears about is how tight money is, and my partner and I are fighting, and my health is declining.  But what a lot of people don’t understand, is that entrepreneurship is rewarding beyond not having to wake up to an alarm clock, being told what to do by someone else, and getting to set your own schedule.  It’s about having the opportunity for creating real, substantial change.

So if you’re reading this, and you’re a business owner, or contemplating starting your own business, do not let financial insecurity deter you from chasing your passion.  These numbers in my personal account are temporary.  And even if they kept getting bigger, who the fuck cares?  We’ve created an army of women ready to FIGHT for any one of us.  GL18 is doubled in size from GL17, and we learned by making A LOT of mistakes the first time around.  If we let that keep us back from doing it again, there wouldn’t be any magic.

When I die, I’m not taking any of these numbers with me, positive or negative.  Interest rates and the ‘Federal Reserve’, have a fascinating history if you ever get time, look up how the institution got started, and who’s behind it. “The Thrive Movement” is a good place to start on youtube.

Once again, I digress….

So much is about to go down next weekend.  I can’t even articulate.  But had I let fear creep in, and financial insecurity hold me back, a lot of lives wouldn’t be evolving next weekend.  Which of course will have a ripple effect on many more.

So to all of you who have made the sacrifices to get out here, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and know that GL19 will be even more untouchable.  With that many more lives impacted.

Love

MFCEO

Hey Kortney,
I just got my first ever item from Grrrl. I visited the mailbox, tried on my bomb as FUCK new jacket, and read the tags pinned to it at just the right moment !
I have spent the last year doing wonderful things with my body (trail running, rock climbing, playing Division 1 rugby with a team of killer ladies in Denver, and skiing). I have also spent the last year fighting an eating disorder fueled by PTSD and a lifetime of a shitty body image. Today was especially hard,like sit-in-the-grocery-store-parking-lot-for-20-minutes-before-I-got-up-the-courage-to-go-the-fuck-inside hard.
It sounds ridiculous. It was. Walking to the mailbox, my logic was bargaining with the destructive side of my mind, trying to keep my dinner in my body. Putting on a piece of clothing that fit me perfectly was a good first step to turning the evening around. Then I read the pledge on mtge tag. There was a part that made the bitch who lives in my head (the one who is never pleased, the one who said “15 lbs gone? Now 10 more? More.”) sit down and shut the fuck up for a few blessed moments. “I am having a POSITIVE IMPACT ON THE WORLD”.
My worth is not tied to a meal, a number, a size. Every time I step on the rugby pitch, or run, ski, and climb, I am building my body and giving my mind the fucking break it deserves. If my mind and body are taken care of, I can take care of those around me and leave the earth better than it was before I arrived. I can’t do any of those things if if I’m actively working against my body and constantly degrading myself. I read the pledge again.
Then I got up and made my lunches for the week. And you know what? I’m going to eat them too. Its just food. It’s not something to control – it’s fuel, plain and simple. I will put this pledge on my bathroom mirror. I will continue to move on and up. I will learn to love myself. I am going to achieve my goals. I’ve always known all of this, but it has been buried deep.
Thank you for what you’ve done with all that is Grrrl and GrrrlArmy.
Reporting for duty

Most of you probably caught my IG story about visiting Julie . I initially put the call out because I was looking for a photography studio to simply borrow someone’s white seamless canvas and shoot some leggings. Bridget was going to be traveling with me. But plans changed, and all of a sudden I was asking Julie if she could shoot the leggings. It also happened to be my husband’s birthday and I wanted to do something ‘special’ for him since I have been away. His favorite color happens to be red. I just so happened to have red heels and a red thong body suit. Hahahahahaha!

Long story short we shot the leggings and got straight into a mock boudoir shoot. It was the first time I’ve ever done a shoot like this and I can’t tell you how amazing of an experience it was. When I arrived at Julie’s studio I was blown away by her level of detail. I can only describe it as a “woman’s touch”. For example, she had a sign that said ‘welcome Kortney’ sitting on the table. She had sultry R&B playing at the right volume. The lighting was amazing and she offered me a drink straight away.

We quickly started talking and she told me about how she got into doing boudoir. A lot of her clients are rape survivors or escorts. She explained how the photo shoots are empowering experiences for both herself and her clients. She struggles with body image on a daily basis and experiences healing through other women. She can still remember back in junior high and high school how her dad used to say “God you have the body of a linebacker” and her mom saying ” you’ll never get a husband if you eat like that”

Of course by time I was ready to leave I had her hooked in with some local Virginia GA members. Like K.P. to help her get started with Powerlifting! I mean Julie has THE PERFECT body type to lift some MASSIVE numbers. Thighs to DIE for. She’s just adorable, So personable and easy going. We both had a lot of fun.

So here’s the crazy thing. Since I was 21, I’ve been doing some kind of modelling. Back in my younger days I used to do a lot of implied nude and shooting with dudes to build my portfolio before social media had really become a thing. Model mayhem was the end all and be all. Over the years I’ve only worked with maybe 2 female Photographers. Even then it was just to shoot clothing for GRRRL and years back the odd shoot here and there. Like the iconic shoot with Jessica Frint in Humboldt County. But, ultimately it’s always been with male photographers. However over the past 4 years I’ve only shot consistently with one of my best friends who goes by the name “Tchalla Hawk” in the public eye. We’ve been shooting for a decade now and he’s one of the only Photographers who doesn’t see “flaws” as “flaws”. I’ve decided our goal by the end of this year is to release a semi-autobiography pictorial book that showcases our work and growth over the past decade without the use of photoshop or airbrushing.

Today was a radical change in experience. Having a woman direct me on how to pose in a sensual way was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Having modeling experience, I’d get into position and she’d tweak it ever so slightly then yell out “oh YES! That’s brilliant! Perfect hold that right there! GORGEOUS!”

Hearing compliments from another woman is life changing. It’s an energy that I cannot really explain. Those of you who’ve utilized the pledge cards and written a compliment to complete stranger which resulted in some kind of experience will know what I’m talking about. In the past I’ve taken A LOT of risque and racy photos in tiny outfits to show off my muscles. I always flexing and showing some kind of definition. But today was very different for me. I felt soft, and overly feminine. I almost felt strange. My entire life I’ve felt like I’m not worthy or sexy if I can’t see actual muscle definition. It’s a long-story as to why.But I’m acutely aware of it.

While traveling here in the United States I’ve worked out 3 times in the past month. So feeling like I’m not ‘ripped up’ and putting myself into poses that didn’t involve me flexing muscles, felt rather odd. However, when we went back and looked at some of the photos I was truly mind blown! It was like seeing myself though another lens. And this is exactly what I believe boudoir photography is designed to do. It’s not vanity, but more of an avenue to self acceptance. You get to see yourself in a powerful position (because lets face it Darryl Hall & Oats were singing ManEater with conviction in the background!) of sex appeal that you can chose to use, or not to use. Finding yourself exotic, enjoyable, desirable, fabulous.

I’m still having a hard time with the concept of where you draw the line between being a “good role model” for the NextGen and showing them that we have a power that needs to be harnessed and used at OUR will. Why do we sexualise women’s nipples but not men’s, when in actuality ours serve a function? They feed tiny humans. And also show them that there is nothing wrong with sexuality. Naturally humans (kids primarily) want to do what they’re told “not to do”. So if you’re exhibiting yourself in a position where you’re making a statement. This is me loving me. I’m not here for your approval. I’m not here for the likes on the pictures. I’m here to say goddamn I’m a stunning goddess and when shot through the eyes of another woman I can get a glimpse of my underlying power! Whether that power is rising up your masculine energy or feminine! Whatever your journey is you can find it whilst doing a boudoir shoot.

So. Much. Love.
Feeling content, accomplished, unafraid, and unstoppable with the GA charging forward.
MFCEO

It’s interesting, this is the first time in my entire life that I’ve gone more than 3 days without working out.  I’ve been in a gym since I was 17.  I’ve been taking some form of a stimulant like ephedra (when it was still legal) or pre workout, since 1999.  For the entire month of March, and the first week of April, in total, I’ve worked out 3 times in a gym.  I’ve had pre-workout once.  Usually, I could go 2 days, 3 at most, without working out before my body image issues would start to raise their nasty heads.  (I say head’s plural because I have a lot of fun voices in my head)

But for whatever reason, I’ve found that I’ve been ok being ok in my skin.  I’m not sure what’s happened, but I can tell you what has definitely helped: Being around a deaf person for the past couple of days.

I’ve been fine in general without working out.  But over the past two days, I’ve really started to notice how self-centered and insignificant my negative self talk is due to the fact that I’m staying in someone’s house who is deaf.  My wing-women is Tori.  She’s married to a gent who lost his hearing completely around the age of 7.  He can read lips and ‘had’ a cochlear until it died a few months back (costs $10,000 to replace since they have a monopoly on it). I didn’t realise how privileged I am, until I see (no pun intended) how much of an impact not being able to hear has on a person’s life.

Tori and I have been talking about how many people have been shot by the police for not responding to commands like “freeze” or hearing sirens, and have been blatantly shot in the head.  Speaking about it gets me all fired up, and my wheels turning, like what could we do to help identify people who are deaf?  But when you do that, it makes deaf people a target.  ….. 

Here is this man in his late 20’s, who walks around smiling, and is so pleasant all the time, not dwelling on his situation.

I’ve decided that when I get to Vegas, Thursday evening April 26th, I’ll be standing on Fremont Street in a bikini holding a sign saying “will flex for a cochlear”.  Stay posted and stay focused on moving forward.  Our body does not dictate our worth.  Be grateful for what we have, and not what the media programs us to feel like we “don’t” have….

It’s 11:35pm, and I’m sitting here in my blOfish jocks, and no shirt on. Hair looking like Kid N’
Play- trying to adjust to 2 days of jet lag before I get back on a plane and head from DC to
Alabama so we can pack up our warehouse and get it over to a 3rd party over in Los Angeles.

After seeing everyone rise to the occasion, and SMASH through our Indiegogo campaign goal, I
seem to be kind of all out of whack. It was such an emotional 50 day period. From getting the
campaign in a position to roll out (two weeks worth of solid work from dusk till dawn), to then
pushing the campaign live, then needing to tweak it because we just have SO much and TOO
much information to share, to then watching it dwindle out a little bit, and feeling like we weren’t
going to hit our goal, to THEN seeing the grrrlarmy MAKE. SHIT. HAPPEN!

It was a remarkable finish. Everyone went to battle, and holy ship did we WIN. Granted, I still had
fleeting moments of “oh shit- now we have to get all these orders sorted, and programs filmed,
and and and and and and’…. oh AND get the rest of GL18 finalized. and and and and and …

I digress.

But you can see how easy it is for myself (and I’m sure you can relate) to only experience fleeting
moments of joy. I bask in the sunlight for about 45 seconds (yes I’ve timed it), then my thoughts
quickly turn to “what’s next”… it’s shocking, really.

But, tonight I had a moment of clarity and joy. And it’s lasted for longer than 45 seconds. When
you’re a goal driven person, the type of person who THRIVES on checking shit off a to-do list, it
can easily become overwhelming to find inner peace. I’m told meditation is the answer. But I
haven’t gotten there yet. It’s only been 7 years that I’ve been working on incorporating a regular
practice, but hey! I’ll get there eventually.

Again, this evening my mom had sent me a video of a lady named Rene Hollis, asking if she was a
relative of another person we know from the town I grew up in. I had already been sent the same
video by another grrrlarmy member from the town I grew up in, and funny enough I had asked her
the same question. Then a week later, my ex Sister in law stopped by my parents house, and she
started talking about how great this Rene person is. She has recently listened to her audiobook of
her reading her journal called “girl wash your face” I believe. As she sat and spoke about her,
after I had just finished talking about our documentary that’s about to roll out, I started to feel a
little jaded. Having thoughts of “clearly I’m not doing enough”… “I’ve had 2 books I’ve semi
finished for 4 years now. Just sitting.. “I never finish anything I
start” *bullshit* *bullshit* *bullshit*

Anyhow, tonight when my Mother sent me the video, I decided to visit this lady’s Facebook page.
I saw she had a blue tick, and she has over 700,000 followers. Now, normally I would think “why
the hell can’t I get this stupid blue tick? Like who did I piss off? I only have 110,000
followers, who are mostly men who want me to flex or speak ESL.” But, tonight I looked at the
overall engagement of her posts, and just sat back and smiled. I finally felt like I didn’t need to
compare myself and my work to someone else who seemed to be doing ‘better’.

The engagement I witnessed yesterday with the amount of footwork by our soldiers in the
grrrlarmy was enough to blast the roof off the interest as far as I’m concerned. We have a life
changing documentary coming out at the end of April, and by Goddess, I JUST SPOKE TO THE
FBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My journey is just beginning. I truly feel my place is on a stage. Speaking my truth, in front of
1000’s of women, inspiring and sharing the real ness. Doing what we’re going with this road
show. Doing what I just did. I don’t need a blue tick. Or 700,000 ‘likes’, or an audiobook. I’m
doing epic shit every day. There is absolutely no reason to compare my journey to someone
else’s, just as the same goes to any of you reading this blog.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m so happy for this other woman. Like SLAY GRRRL SLAY! But my point
is, I am not feeling inferior, or as if I’m not doing enough. I feel like I’m manifesting my dream. All
these big visions of rebranding Kamp Konfidence into GRRRL Guides (or whatever we call it) so
our GA members can give back directly and be of service, all of these BIG visions will come to pass. I simply need to be patient, trust that I am EXACTLY where I’m meant to be on my journey,
and remember GoalsNotControls.

GL18 will be perfect so as long as I keep asking for guidance on a daily basis, show up, and do
the next right thing. (And of course show up clean and sober lol. (That ALWAYS helps.)
Goals don’t happen overnight. As you’ll learn in the Self Love Success Academy- there are short
term and long term goals. Today I went to meet with a staff member from Diane FeinStein’s office
to discuss these bigger goals. Nothing tangible happened, but you have to start somewhere.
This leads to that, leads to this, and back around.

As you all repeated after me, “I believe”.

So. Much. Love.
Feeling content, accomplished, unafraid, and unstoppable with the GA charging forward.
MFCEO

It’s time to call attention to why GRRRL Clothing exists. It’s time to look past the clothing and truly understand the heartbeat of GRRRL and what can be accomplished through our Self Love Rebellion Campaign.

GRRRL clothing exists to create change for a generation of struggling young women who are currently and will eventually be leading this world. The struggle is so real that our youth are dangerously crippled and lost. We need your help. Our clothing is the vehicle we use to get the message out. It’s the flag we fly and banner we raise to rally the troops who will stand for change in a marketing world that would rather look the other way and profit from female dysfunction. Our vision is much greater than the clothes on our backs.

To quote Ceo of GRRRL, Clothing Kortney Olson, in her emotionally moving video for the self love rebellion project, “History tells us that we need HERstory. A stronger female influence. But how can that happen when women are consumed by an epidemic of self-harm, self-doubt, self-hate, fear, and prejudice? The annual healthcare costs for eating disorders globally is 1 trillion dollars. One in 3 women will experience domestic violence. One in five will experience depression. One in 5 teenage girls will suffer from body image related mental illnesses. What is the answer? Self love. All the research shows that self love is the personal pillar that underpins the achievement of potential. It fosters unity, disengages prejudice and fosters equality. It is the key that unlocks potential and personal happiness.”

1 in 5 teenage girls will experience depression before they reach adulthood.
7 in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school, and relationships with friends and family members.
Over 70% of girls aged 14–17 years avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, when they feel bad about their looks.
Eating disorders are the 3rd most common chronic illness in young females.
Self-harm hospital admissions have increased by more than 68% in the last 10 years, with teenage girls 50% more likely to self-harm compared to teenage boys.
The incidence of eating disorders has DOUBLED in the last 10 years.
75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities such as cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating.

We didn’t create the the Self-Love Rebellion Project because we want to sell clothing. Yes, our clothing is award-winning and awesome. Plus, when you support us by contributing to our growth, you will receive amazing GRRRL gear in return. It really is a win-win situation. Your contribution will enable us to visit 5 cities in America to provide access to our life-changing self-love event absolutely free of charge. You will be changing lives and rocking amazing gear.

Based on the eye-opening statistics I shared above, chances are that if you’re a woman reading this, you’ve been directly or indirectly affected by one or several of the issues mentioned. If you’re a male reading this, there is most likely a woman in your life right now who is silently struggling. You can make a difference.

We can help. We want to arm women with the tools they need to conquer their inner demons and rise above. It’s alarming that we live in a culture where self-love is considered rebellious and that standing up against mass media marketing to normalize all body shapes, colours, and backgrounds is considered courageous.

Ask yourself who you have allowed to influence your beliefs. Have you ever thought about how your thoughts have been influenced by the media? We typically accept our thoughts as truth without thinking about where they came from and why. Companies profit from negative self-images while women destroy themselves. Hating yourself is considered acceptable and normal behavior. What is most alarming is that these behaviors are expected and encouraged. Can you imagine how many companies would go out of business today if women simply started loving themselves? There is so much work to be done, and it starts right here with The Self-Love Rebellion and you.

This is our pledge. We intend to change the world one pledge at a time, one woman at a time.
I solemnly swear to the best of my ability to refrain from talking negatively about myself as well as other Grrrls.
I am an equal amongst my peers, and see myself as neither better than nor less than them.
Through this pledge of non-judgment, I understand and embrace that I am having a positive impact on the world and furthering the global revolution of body acceptance.
I take this pledge.

It’s time to change the game. It’s time to change our inner narrative as a society. It’s time for healing to begin. Come read our story. We invite you to become a vital part of the rebellion. We invite you to help us mobilize an army of change.

Remember as Eleanor Roosevelt said. A woman is like a tea bag-you cant tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Keep fighting the good fight
SpunkyCanuck

Below you’ll find the letter I’ve just wrote to someone I’ve never met or spoken to in my life.  But this is how we stay clean and sober.  Some of you may not know that I’m a recovered drug addict and alcoholic.  I often like to post about the dis-ease of addiction and alcoholism because there is still a lot of stigma around the topic.  A lot of miseducation.  But the reality is, we do recover.  We aren’t bad people who need to get good, we are sick people who need to get well.  Doing service work like this reminds me of why I must wake up grateful every day for what I do have, and not what I don’t have.  And today, what I do have, is freedom from addiction, as well as a life beyond my wildest dreams.  Might not be financially free and jetsetting like Cardi B or Kim Kardashian, but that’s OK!  Money doesn’t satisfy the soul.  Being of service, in my experience, does…… 

 

Hey Jay!!!

My name is Kortney, and I’m …… well I’m a lot of things. I’m the “woman with the world’s deadliest thighs”, australia’s first female arm wrestling champion, and according to the Australian media, I’m an ex fetish porn star. LOL #winning
But at the end of the day, no matter what my ego thinks it wants you to know, the only thing you need to know, is that I’m a recovered drug addict and alcoholic.

I don’t know much about you. Other than you’re inside due to drugs. But your Sister follows me on IG. I often post about recovery so people can better understand our dis-ease. (Dis= opposite . Ease = easy living……….. so what we have, is the opposite of easy living.. not like some crusty penis type disease lol). We hear the world mental illness and think something is wrong with us. When in reality, we all have a level of mental health. So when we say we’re ‘mentally ill”, it just means we’re not really healthy in the mind when we’re sick.
Remember this, us addicts/alcoholics (all the same shit at the end of the day) are NOT bad people who need to get good…. we are SICK people who need to get good.

Today, with 8.5 years without a drink, nearly 8 without a drug, I’ve launched a global clothing line that is changing the world. But without having had worked the 12 steps, and doing what was suggested there’s no way I would be where I am today. In fact I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be alive.

I started using meth when I was 17 (despite being a perfect poster child) because I lost weight. From there I experienced (I no longer use the word ‘suffered’) a rape by my boxing instructor/mentor, and went down a dark spiral and started drinking professionally around 19. Took me a Long time of going in and out of the rooms to FINALLY quit trying to escape my feelings and repair my damaged soul. Even after being clean and sober for a year, I found norco, which turned into oxy in the end. But you see, that wasn’t my problem, because my name was on the bottle, and was prescribed by a doctor.

You see- us addicts are very clever people. We can manipulate every one around us, get what we want, then burn it to the ground, and end up blaming everyone else around us. Hahahahaha! It’s amazing! When I think back about all the time and effort that went into trying to stay drunk, or get a bag, or refill my RX, I have A LOT of time wasted. However, today- I look back at my past, and am incredibly proud. Not with false pride, but a pride that comes from literally walking through the gates of hell. Addiction/alcoholism is fatal, and kills someone just on pills alone every 19 seconds here in the USA.

So, that being said, I want you to know that we do recover. I don’t know how Long you’re locked up for, or what you’re looking at, but I can send you some literature and help guide you to finding the steps and addressing the beast. You don’t ever have to use again. It’s a peculiar feeling getting clean and sober. For me, the first two years were awful. But that’s purely because I didn’t do what was suggested by the program. I only went to meetings because I knew I had to. But I didn’t put any effort into the steps, never did service work, hated fellowshipping, and just got addicted to body building instead. Which kept me clean and sober in the beginning, but I kept looking for approval from others on the outside. And as we know, compliments are like lines of coke- they work for only a short period of time. Hence why I hated that drug. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, I want you to know that we do recover. All of the answers that you need are in the literature. I’m positive you’d be able to find a sober/clean member within the confines of that box there as well to help guide you. Prison is really kind of pointless in a lot of respects. We take meetings into jails and institutions, but you need daily meetings.

What we’re dealing with (if you are far progressed as I was with my addiction (my dis-ease) is the equivalent of stage 4 bone cancer. People who have stage 4 bone cancer are literally on deaths doorstep. They have to take their medicine daily, most often hourly. The same can be said for us. If I don’t do something daily to manage my dis-ease (because our illness is centred in the mind), I will surely pick back up again. And I will no doubt, die- or worse, kill someone else and wind up in prison myself. I’m a very violent person whenever I put drugs or alcohol into my system. Like you, I have an allergic reaction, and the craving phenomenon kicks off. Normal people don’t have those issues. Isn’t it great to be so far from normal! 🙂

I’ll be doing a road show tour and in the USA for some time. Maybe there’s a way I can come see you and facilitate a meeting. But please stay strong. Ask for help. You are not weak in will power, you have a disease that is not curable, but is capable of going into remission. And you can have a life beyond your wildest dreams.

I used to steal your wallet then help you look for it. That’s not who I am when I’m clean and sober. Today I’m looking to give away as much as I can to those who need it more than I. Building a legacy. Leaving my mark. And so can you-

I believe in you. And from one addict to another, I know exactly what you’re feeling and experiencing. There is hope. We do recover. One day at a time.

And last thing: one day at a time, simply means that all we have is the now. There is no such thing as the past or the future. Time is a man-made creation to run a society/civilisation. The past and future purely live in our minds, where we play them over and over, or play them out, and get caught up in depression or anxiety. So stay within just today- the only thing that exists. Tomorrow if you want your misery and pain back, you can have it. But just for today, you’ve got this. Pray to a higher power (I don’t know who or what that is, but I believe there is a God, and I am NOT it!!!) for guidance, and watch what happens. Could be Mother Nature, aliens, Jesus, Satan- doesn’t matter. We just recommend you realise that on your own, you can’t mange your own life. Kind of easy to see when your behind bars 😉

But- know that there are millions of us out here praying for you to ‘get it’, and then you too can pass on the good word that we do recover.

We love you!

In fellowship
Kortney O

Why Ambassador Codes Aren’t Brilliant, But What Is Instead

If you’re already an Ambassador (or Brand Advocate), don’t get bummed out. You’ve made it this far, so keep reading.

I’ve never been a big fan of ‘ambassadors’ or ‘affiliates’.

What is the difference between ambassadors, affiliates, and/or even partners for that matter? I don’t have time to give you a dictionary definition, so let’s continue.

Now, our first year with GRRRL, we started out an ambassador program that didn’t contain concrete outlines, unlike a company say like 5% nutrition. If you go on their website, it’s real clear that you can apply, but you need to have 10,000 + followers to even begin with.

We were taking women and girls onboard who were more or less “grrrl material”. We would check through their feed and read comments they left on other people’s profiles to make sure they were acting in accordance to our ethos, not posting with airbrushed photos, or just doing a bunch of tits and ass shots for likes.

When you have online ‘ambassadors’, the point is to use their channels to promote your brand, and they in turn make a commission off of any sales that get generated. But nowadays it seems like everyone has some kind of ‘code’ or ambassadorship with some kind of company. Livesore. Be Strong. (Just be Strong?) The list goes on.

There are a couple of different reasons why I don’t like giving people codes:

1.. I feel like they make other people feel excluded

2. Our brand weighs so heavily on connectivity, sisterhood, and abiding to a certain philosophy of life, that if someone is associated with our brand, they need to conduct themselves in a certain way.

3. They turn people into a walking billboard. PS- People love to shop, but they hate being “sold to”. That is why network marketing is so goddamn hard!

It’s confusing because some grrrls have codes with less than say 1,000 followers, but when someone emails up to tell their story and apply, and we write back saying we have guidelines now, is that they might not realise, that this other grrrl has TATTOO’D the brand on her body for LIFE.

                                                                      

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! If you’ve tattoo’d GRRRL on your body somewhere, you are straight up RIDE OR DIE. Call yourself an ambassador, my blood sister, IDGAF. You are OUT THERE DOING THE DAMN THING.

We also have grrrl’s like Diana Van Rompey who go out and set up booths at events and have paid for table clothes and display items out of their own pockets (with permission of course!), and are out there pushing the brand because they truly believe in what we are doing.

Our current team of ambassadors and advocates are amazing and have generated us a lot of new recruits, and we are forever grateful.  

But when we get 100’s of emails a week, of women asking for codes, even with the few professional Athletes we support financially, once someone posts to their markets, their database is aware of who we are. We need people talking about WHY we exist, and how that has impacted their lives. Out in the street doing gorilla marketing. Thinking outside the box. Etc.

Having professional Athletes like Rose Namajumas and Holly Holm (former) on the team, are great for us. They are straight up grrrl material. But as a start up company, who’s main focus is an equal sisterhood, with our clothing already being affordable AF, codes tend to give an air of ‘better than’, if you will, and to be frank, our stuff margins are already tight as me trying to fit into a pair of jeans. Comparable brands selling the EXACT same leggings as us, will charge up to $75-110USD.

                                                                      

Furthermore, back in the day when we used to have more time, we could check up on Ambassadors and see what type of interactions they were having on other people’s comments. I came across “That bitch is just a thirsty hoe, don’t pay her any attention”, and nearly fell off my seat.

I don’t have the mentally capacity to brush my teeth twice a day, make love to my partner in over a year, let alone find time to heal my thyroid, so I certainly don’t have time to be looking into other grrrls who are Ambassador’s ‘stuff’. It’s not our job to police anyone. You’re either in, or you’re not. What you do in your spare time, is totally up to you. However, when a brand is based off of principles, values and ethos, we can’t mess around.

We’re not GymShark- we’re not DoYouEven… we are fucking GRRRL. We are here to build a sisterhood, where we are created equal. A brand that doesn’t need to be paying people to grow the sisterhood. We have so many members of the grrrlarmy who ‘get it’, and are out there already doing the damn thing.
Going out on the street with pledge bands and cards. To be starting their own free training boot camps and asking us to give a 1 time discount for a massive order for all the new recruits to buy a shirt…

Sure… some women just want to say they have a sponsorship of some sort, and feel like they’re being supported somehow. Some just want the title. But most often than not, women want to give back and be involved in any way possible, as well as be able to be heard and share their story.

So therein lies the issue. How do we get more women involved?

Because I know the feeling. Full-stop. I’ve experienced first hand, that the first step to building self love and finding happiness, is by being of service to others. Making $400/hr to stand around and flex in videos, did not give me happiness and fill the void in my soul. What did, was being of service and finding my purpose. Feeling like I could help others.

So how we get more women involved? Well I’m so f**king glad you asked!

This is in part why we are running this Indiegogo campaign!

We want to give our grrrlarmy members the opportunity to take proven programs back into their communities and teach girls how to become grrrls!

Yes! Selling clothing and being a brand that
-refuses to use photoshop/airbrushing
-all body types
-doesn’t use traditional sizing

is amazing! But it’s no longer about us. It’s about YOU and giving YOU an opportunity to heal, then change the world around you, by first changing yourself.

So to give you a taste, we’ve put the Self Love Success Academy on our campaign.

We’re envisioning doing Train The Trainer style format, where you, our grrrlarmy members (customers, if you are unfamiliar with our brand) get to come and learn the rebranded format of Kamp Konfidence, and create change in your world.

                                                                       

This “Self Love Success Academy” is just ONE of TEN components from Kamp Konfidence. And what we end up re-branding Kamp Konfidence to, we’re not sure at this stage. At this stage, we’re just focusing on hitting our $85,000 mark so we can take our GL18 on the road and do a mini road show! In the clothing world, $85,000 is a drop in the bucket when you’re expanding on a global scale.

So we’re giving you an opportunity to familiarise yourself with what the future is to hold. As well as get this information into as many hands as possible. This course is life changing….

SO……

WTF is the “Self Love Success Academy”

OK, so by now you’ve been looking at all of our AWESOME perks on our crowdfunding campaign and you can’t decide what to get. I don’t blame you… there is so much awesome stuff on it.

So… what exactly is the “Self Love Success Academy” anyway? (which I’ll refer to as SLSA)

The SLSA is a 160 page, interactive workbook/journal that is designed to help any woman or girl, 11 years and older, start working on developing self love.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/grrrl-clothing-the-self-love-rebellion-project/x/3743439#/

Developing self love takes work. It requires taking time to sit down, and put pen to paper, and ask yourself some important questions. Most importantly, self love starts by building awareness. Building awareness can easily translate to ‘mindfulness’. Instead of living life on ‘auto pilot’, we learn to observe our thoughts and behaviours and more importantly, strategies on how to start creating change.

The trouble with explaining what this program covers, is that there is just SO DAMN MUCH it actually covers.

For $70, the course includes 15 HD (hi def) videos ranging from 5-10 minutes of myself, walking you (or your loved one) through how to use this workbook/journal. The course also includes supplemental videos that go along with the course, as well as printouts, such as an assertiveness quiz and so on.

                                                                      

The ironic thing is, I HATE doing online courses. I lose interest, am HELLA A.D.D. (Official) and have a hard time sitting still. But, the beauty is, and I’m not ashamed to say, I am HELLA entertaining and engaging 🙂

I guarantee when you finish this online course, which you can do during the 8 week suggested pace, or do at your own pace (because you have lifetime access to the course) that you will walk away a more empowered, confident female brimming with self love.

This course helps combat bullying, regardless of age, improves self esteem and worth, creates a sense of achievement, builds self love, enhances confidence, and overall sense of serenity.

So for the love of Prince, get this specific perk in your home, out to other parents at your kids schools, to women who run girl groups, coaches, DO IT YOURSELF! It’s a great way to bond with your Daughter in doing this together, but also is designed to be done by yourself as a grown ass adult! I guarantee you will learn something.

 

What Should You Be Saying To Your Kids Everyday?

Teen Whispering 101:

A parent asked me “what’s the number one thing I should be telling my daughters every day besides the obvious stuff like ‘I love you’ etc”

After answering with a quick reply, I felt like I was doing her a disservice and needed to do a live video.

The number one thing you can be saying, is nothing at all. It’s actually A C T I O N.

When Jackie brings home a drawing from school, instead of saying some generic “oh wow that’s great honey!”, you get in the moment, and find yourself in the detail! “Jackie wow! Look you drew within the lines! That is so hard to do. That takes real talent. And look at how you blended the colors!” – I remember when I did my first water color drawing, my Pop said “wow! That’s really hard to do something so abstract”, her validation was so rewarding to me as a 7 year old.

You can tell your kids “I love you” until they’re blue in the face, but if your actions are contrary, showing them that they’re not worth your time, they won’t believe a word out of your mouth. You know what it’s like- show of hands…. how many of you have had a guy say “I love you” and you were just like “oh pa-leeeeeeze! You are SO full of shit- you just want my goodie bag!”

Well believe it or not, kids are REALLY smart. They pick up on all of the detail. And I do mean ALL of it.

So when you’re out at the shops, and youre scrolling facebook, and not paying attention to what they’re doing, but your half ass talking to them while looking at your phone, only looking up when someone starts slapping the other, or causing a problem- you’re reinforcing negative behaviour. You need to get your head in the game, and show them that they’re your priority. Not to say you can’t have time to yourself- but you need to designate that time and be real clear on it- “Jackie- this is Mum’s time, and it’s important that I take care of myself or I can’t take care of you…” or when you’re in the middle of something and Jackie is trying to get your attention because she has something REALLY important to show you, you stop and let her know instead of not looking up and just shouting at her that you’re busy. You instead stop, look up at her, and say “Jackie darling, I’m in the middle of something important, but you are also really important and deserve my undivided attention. So let me finish what I was doing then I’ll give you my attention, fair deal?”

Let me tell you why this is so important. Because what happens is, between ages 0-8, we aren’t fully conscious. We see everything in black or white. Right or wrong. There isn’t much space for grey. We create roughly 75% of our beliefs in this beginning part of our lives- and a majority of those beliefs are limiting! (Not true, unhelpful…)

https://www.facebook.com/KonfidenceByKortney/videos/1816231275076593/

(Watch the live video on my Facebook page if you don’t like to read)

Here’s an example. Let’s flashback in time. Say you are 5 years old, and your little Sister Sarah is 1. She’s sitting in her highchair, you’re sitting on the floor in front of the front door, and your mom is in the kitchen cutting up an Apple for Sarah. Frustrated because you can’t figure out how to tie your shoe, you yell out for your mom’s help. While all of this is going on, Sarah is thrashing around in her highchair and is no standing up, ready to topple over the front straight onto her head. Your mom immediately drops the knife and Apple, looks at you and say “hold on! I’ll be right there honey-“, then rushes over to grab your Sister.

Here’s where it gets interesting. In your little 5 year old head, you create a belief that Sarah is better than you because she got your mom’s attention first. Or, better yet, that your mom loves Sarah more because she attended to her first, and you second. Not knowing that this actually isn’t the truth, and that your mom was simply doing her job as a parent and making sure Sarah didn’t crack her head open, you have now created this limiting belief, and stored it away in your subconscious programming. As an adult, every time you see Sarah on the holidays, for some reason when you get into a room with her, you just want to punch her in the ovary, and you can’t figure out why she just gets on your nerves so goddamn bad!

Now take that example and multiply it by 10,000. 10,000 x 12 years of age… you can do the math. (I still count on my fingers… I suck at math. And that is NOT a belief- that’s a fact lol! That’s also a joke because beliefs control EVERYTHING in our life).
That’s a lot of negative beliefs we create about ourselves and store into our subconscious programming where we don’t even know it exists.

The subconscious mind is an incredibly powerful tool, and something we’ll get into at a later time.

But back to showing action, the other incredibly important thing you must be doing, is displaying a love relationship with yourself. You need to be acutely aware of how you’re acting in your relationship with self, in front of your kids. If you’re telling Sarah every day “I love you”, but then she sees you in front of the mirror with a disgusted look on your face saying things like “God! I look so old today!”, or “ughhhhh this shirt makes me look like a fat cow”… Guess what? You’re child is not going to believe a word out of herself, and she’s going to model behaviour that is unsavoury and incredibly unhelpful.

That term “role model” actually means something when you stop and break it down. We’re conditioned to just say words, and learn what it’s associated with, but not actually consider the meaning in its entirety. What is the “role” you are playing, and how is your child going to “model” it? They will copy your behaviour! So there’s really no point in telling Sarah you love her every day, if she’s learning to copy/model your behaviour in how you treat yourself.

When you stop and think about it, what was your mother’s relationship like with herself? Can you see some of that behaviour in yourself? I’ll let you sit on that for a minute…

No really! Take a few minutes and think about that.

But the good news is, the buck stops here. The reality is, you get to make a conscious decision to become your own best parent right now- right this second! As well as forgive your parents for whatever you felt was lacking in your upbringing. Because lets face it- we did NOT come out of the womb with a how-to manual. Our parents were doing the best that they could with the tools they were given. And now I’m passing some more tools onto you, so you can in turn do the best that YOU can with the tools you’ve been given. As well as increase your toolbox consistently.

I highly encourage any women reading this blog to come and join and us at GL18 in Las Vegas April 28/29th weekend for a life-changing weekend. One of the most valuable workshops I attended in my pursuit to become the world’s best teen whisperer when running Kamp Konfidence, was a program called Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA). NHA is a parenting framework that was created by a psychologist named Dr Howard Glassmen. Bless man was/is an avid horse whisperer, and realised that the same principles of energy that apply when working with horses, is the exact same as children. Specialising in, and designed for kids with adhd/asd, Glassmen created this framework which can be applied in not only parenting, but to all relationships. We’ll have a main stage speaker as well as a smaller breakout workshop in the line up at GL18. At GRRRL, we will continue to deliver life-changing and life-enhancing tools to help us all grow and co-create an INCREDIBLE WORLD!

YOU GO GRRRL! And we’ll see you in Vegas!

So what is all this talk of “International Day of Self Love”?

Formerly known as Valentine’s Day, International Day of Self Love is a chosen day to recognise and honor yourself as your numero uno in life.  In 2016 we rolled out the idea once we realised that there wasn’t a SINGLE calendar day that was dedicated to YOU.  We’re always giving praise, recognising, and supporting other people.  Yes, we get to talk about ourselves and be showered with gifts on our birthdays, but we wanted more than that.

It’s incredibly important for women, because as women we’re designed to be the care-takers.  We’re the nurturers.  We’re the ones that are wanting to fix everyone and everything else but ourselves.  It comes systemically programmed from raising children.  We’re designed by nature, as well as society, to be expected to tend to everyone else’s needs before our own.

My favourite example is the oxygen mask.  When you’re on a plane, the flight attendant gives you pretty clear instructions; Put your own mask on first before assisting others.  I’ve been on hundreds of flights, all over the world, and I can tell you I’ve never ONCE heard anything different.  This is simply because facts are facts- you simply CANNOT help other people if your ass is dead!  So put your oxygen mask on first!  Tend to you FIRST!  Love you FIRST!

This ceremony is an opportunity for you to outwardly, through means of ritual, commit to yourself that you are going to put you and your needs ahead of everyone else in life.  Even your own children.  Because if you aren’t able to be happy and free, your children are going to get a version of you that is 95%, or 85% or maybe even 50%.  Same goes to your partner, your friends, your co-workers and your family.  If you’re too busy saying “yes” when you really want to be saying “no”, to doing things that are taking up too much of your ‘me time’, then you’re going to be rundown, resentful and not close to hitting 100%.

Learning to cultivate self love is hard yards.  It doesn’t come naturally.  This is why you’ve got to get your ass to GL18 and learn some tools!  But first and foremost is you must first make the commitment that you’re going to do you-

So we invite you to get out your favourite dress.  Even get out your old wedding dress.  And if that shit doesn’t fit, cut or tie it so it does!  Go out and buy a new one!  We also encourage you to bake a cake.  Buy a cake.  A slice.  The whole cake- doesn’t matter.  But get yourself a morsel or something that lights up your tastebuds because it’ll be included in the ceremony.

The event will take place on GRRRL Clothing’s Facebook page as well as our IG Live accounts.

Feb 11th, 1pm PST (4pm EST) … (if you’re in Singapore, that’s 5AM MONDAY MORNING FEB 12TH lol)

-come dressed in your favourite dress/top hat/whatever makes you feel like the Queen you are
-get dolled up. Take the time to do what you do when you’d “go out” on a first date with someone else. Do that shit for you!
-bring a piece of cake, or whatever decadent treat you’d normally eat then punish yourself over
-bring a ring.  A new ring, and old ring, a rubberfknband.
-be by a mirror so you can look in it and repeat after me

 

So check this out…

On my IG I have a WAZOO of messages in my DM request folder.  I used to go in there once a month and have a scout for grrrls reaching out, but now I attempt to do it once every other day.  Today I found this message from a guy that taught me a little lesson.  Hence why I’m here to share with you.

Let me just paint a picture for you.  I’m having a horrible day.  Yeah, poor me.  But legit- being an entrepreneur is incredibly difficult.  Every single day is a new height, on a brand new roller coaster, that’s never been ridden before.  One day you’re at the top of it, laughing so hard you’re nearly crying, then 6 hours later you’re stuck upside down actually crying because you’re scared and you want the fuck off.  So today, I’m not in a great frame of mind.  Taking that energy with me, I opened up the DM request folder.

99 out of 100 DM’s are from blokes.  Either sending a shitty emoji in response to my story, which of course has disappeared so I’ve no clue what it was in response to anyway- or, saying how they want to do x, y, or z to me.  I rarely open them and look, and I usually always never reply.  But then I saw this fella, and thought “huh- he doesn’t look like your average guy trying to holler at me… let’s see what it says.”

Then I read his message.  I got to the last sentence, and saw “I will tell you more about me on fb messenger or email”.  I immediately thought, “the FUCK you will!  Who the hell do you think you are Romeo?”…. then for shits and giggles I clicked on to check out his feed.  I looked at a couple of the newest post, and Immediatly thought “should I bloke this bloke?”… But then I kept scrolling.  I watched the above video, and started to wonder if they guy was a bit psycho.  Then, for whatever reason, it dawned on me.  It dawned on me what his actual message said before that last sentence I chose to become fixated on, when I started drawing up my judgements about him.

He said, “I am 48 years old and have a fourth grade level math skills, this is what makes me unique”.  Then it dawned on me- maybe this guy isn’t trying to hit on me, or holler at me- and he simply is just looking for a goddamn fucking Friend.  

You see, perspective is a really powerful tool.  We always have the choice to look at every situation in a different light.  ALWAYS.  Yes, it’s incredibly important to follow your instincts and be switched on when scrolling social media, and block people who might pose a risk of being obsessive- but all in all- remember that you might have some lonely people out there in the world just looking for a connection.

Do the next right thing and be a decent human being.

October, 2013. Gold Coast, Australia.

As most of you know, the story behind GRRRL and how we got started, is direct pull from the teenage girl wellness camp I founded called Kamp Konfidence.  After 2 years of running the weekend program and 61 graduates who’s lives will never be the same, one of my partners became pregnant and needed to tap out.  (Seems to be a common theme in my life lol!). So in the down time, we decided to take the Vision and Mission of Kamp Konfidence and roll it into a clothing line that would reach every corner of the world, much stronger and much faster.

Now- somewhere along the way, I went to the Fit Expo in Melbourne.  I’ll never forget that weekend, as I had horrific gastro for the first time in my life.  It took the life of me to walk around that convention center and taking pics with people, without shitting my pants.  To make it even more interesting, I had to try and not get too freaked out about going on NATIONAL TELLEY the next day to talk to Sunrise about Kamp Konfidence.  I was concerned about just sitting in a chair, let alone arm wrestling one of the news anchors.  Funny story, really.  No pants where shat that day, for the record. But whilst I was at the Fit Expo, a Friend said I should meet Dana Linn Bailey and tell her about Kamp Konfidence, and that she was really nice and would probably help us by posting something on social media.  So we decided to make sneaky moves, and cut off all of her fans and intercept her coming out of some hidden room.

I knew of DLB because back when I was competing, she was more or less starting out.  People would often send me her pics and say ‘you guys are so similar!’.  At one point in 2008, I even emailed asking if they wanted to do a shirt collab with my back then brand, All Natural KO.  Rob wrote me back and politely said they were too busy.

Back at the expo, we walked up to her and said hi, and asked if she’d take ‘the pledge’ with me.  I explained what ‘the pledge’ was, and proceeded to tell her all about Kamp Konfidence.  I told her how it was a weekend wellness program for teenage girls that taught the 5 habits, principles, and lessons that lead to the development of self love, and that the aim was to show these girls that they/we are born and bred to see each other as competition.  DLB took ‘the pledge’, I put a Kamp Konfidence bracelet on her, we hugged, I asked her if she could give @kampkonfidence a shoutout on her social media, she said yes, we took some pics, and off we went in our separate directions.

A few months went by, and I never saw a post from DLB, but what I did see after someone sent me a post from her, was she launched “Confidence Camps’ at her gym.

I was pretty fucking huffy at the time.  So at that point, I decided I was going to compete in physique and come after her.  That didn’t last long as a few months into comp prep, she announced her retirement.  Oh well!

November 18th, 2015. Gold Coast, Australia.

GRRRL Clothing was launched.  So no worries mate, I started my own shit with an evolved Mission and Vision. Whenever someone tells you ‘no’, that simply means find a different way.  Took me another 7 years to figure out how to do it, but what did I tell you?  NEVER QUIT.  Unless it’s meth of course.

Fastforward to today, and I see this get posted in our closed GRRRLs group:

 

 

At first, I felt myself get angry.  As most of you know, last year we announced our second annual live event, GL18.  Which of course includes Meg Gallagher stunning self in the line up.  I sat and thought, “so now you’re gonna jump on the bandwagon and start ‘bringing women together’, are ya?!  How fucking convenient!”

Then of course, I stopped and took a breath.  Because I’m constantly checking in with my thoughts and observing what my self talk is saying, I caught the thoughts, and dismantled them so I could put the anger to bed and remind myself of the truth.  The truth is this:

#NotYourCompetition

At the end of the day, the more women who are out there trying to lift up and unite more women, the better.  This mindset of seeing other Brand’s as competition is old, and reptilian thinking (unless of course someone changes their logo and it happens to look eerily close to your Brand’s and they even admit it, then it’s time to slam the desk).  It’s a male, ego-based energy that needs to die in the ass.  As Eckart Tolle talks about in his book “A New Earth”, the new world is a place where people collaborate together to both get to the end result, working as a team.  Not coming from a place of scarcity, worry and fear.  There is so much hurt and pain (and fixing that needs doing in the world), that it couldn’t possibly all get touched by one movement alone.

Chances are, DLB had her ‘confidence camps’ planned a year before she’d ever met me, and that her ‘taking My idea’ was purely my ego thinking I’m something or someone special.  And again, chances are she had this planned with Meg a year ago.  It is imperative that we put our ego to bed when we’re women in business.  We’ve got to stand behind ‘Not Your Competition’ through and through.

So what defines success?

I’ll tell you what doesn’t; Achieving your “goals”, making hundreds of dollars an hour, or even finding your purpose.

I’ve done all 3. And yet I still manage to make myself feel miserable every day because it’s “not enough”. I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure out what it “is” I’m supposed to be doing on this earth. Even with achieving 8 years of continual sobriety and 7.5 off of drugs- Even having a business where I don’t have to report to a superior; I AM the superior- Even being able to travel and not wake up to an alarm clock- Even having created a brand that is actually changing the world and is going to be bigger than Nike in 10 years time- SOMETHING is always not right.

Our clothing isn’t fashionable enough. The website has a problem. I want to be spending more time meditating. I want to meditate period. I want to have a more developed VMO (the teardrop muscle on the inside of your knee). I want to grow faster.

And on and on and on.

The ONLY thing I’ve found in life that makes me feel successful is when I’m in direct service to someone else who is in true need. I’m not talking about in need of an email answered. I’m talking about someone who needs to be heard because they feel alone and like life is not worth living. Someone who can’t stop drinking or doing drugs. Someone who has a teenage girl who is cutting themselves and they don’t know where to turn.
THAT kind of service.

The only challenge with that, is for me that’s difficult to measure.

So the other day I was doing something I hardly do anymore because when you devote every cell in your being to your enterprise- to your WHY, you can easily lose your libido.

While I was in the shower- I realized that even after 7 years, I’m more attracted to my husband than I was when we said our Do’s. I wasn’t thinking about someone else. Or needing to watch other people. I simply closed my eyes and thought about my husband and blew the roof off.

So what is the definition of success?

Is it a certain number hitting your bank account every day? And even then will that truly make you happy?  Will that change and is it ok for that number to change?  Or is success finding your voice and leaving a miserable relationship?  Is it coming out?  Or is it having a child?  Or do you just ‘think’ that’s what success is because society tells you that’s what we’re supposed to be doing as women?

My point is this; Everyone has a different deferent version of success. What’s important is that YOU figure out what that looks like to you. Not society. Not your parents. But YOU.
And by finding out that means DO SOME WORK!  Put pen to paper. Isolate yourself and do some writing. Ask yourself some important questions. Take time. Don’t rush it.

You deserve to connect with your innermost self and find out what that success looks like unattached by what everyone else around you ‘thinks’ it is. Too often we let our heads (thinking) define success and not our hearts (feeling) what success is.

Because I’ll tell you what: That O face sure FELT like success to me. And the O looked like my significant other.

Here’s to many more successful days grrrls!

Comment below what success looks like to you.

This blog might be the shortest read with the tallest reward you’ve had to boot- As a female entrepreneur, I will always endeavour to bring you tools that have changed my life for the better, and helped me find strength and power in relationships. Not power over someone else, but power over my own reactions and how I conduct myself. Society says that females are “weak and too soft for business”, but I call bullshit. We simply need to teach each other simple tools like the following. Enjoy!  And YES!  Share it!
MFCEO KO

Business Leadership: How to give someone bad news.

Do you have a parent that you need to break up with? Or a Boyfriend you need to kick to the curb? I mean, let down gently… Or how about an employee that needs to step up their game, but you’re not sure how to let them know in a constructive manner?

Grrrls- I present to you, the sandwich method.

The sandwich method was actually taught to me by one of my best life Teachers, my Husband. In fact, it was in the midst of him telling me that I needed to chill the fuck out, and stop stressing on everything because it was driving him nuts. Bless his heart-

Here’s how the conversation rolled:

(Positive)
“Honey- you are such a beautiful soul. You’re so caring and loving towards everyone and everything. I’m not sure you understand how much I admire you for that. I’ve never met someone with as much heart as you. It’s truly a gift.

(Negative)
However, sometimes our greatest gifts can cause us the most misery. You’re tendency to overthink and over stress details of things, and how others might perceive your intention, is having a bit of an effect on my own personal wellbeing. It’s bringing an extra layer of stress that I’m having a hard time coping with.

(Positive)
But I will say I’ll never meet another person on the face of this planet that I’d cope with as much extra shit for, than you. You’re my soulmate, and I would do anything for you. Not ‘damn near anything for you’, but anything for you. Because there is no one on this planet I admire, cherish and adore more than you.”

You see what he did there?

He started with a positive. He fed in the negative. Then he ended on a positive.

When you deliver information in this format, it allows the other person to take it onboard, and then end on a good note. As opposed to sitting someone down, and saying “Look Jane- you fucking suck. I appreciate you trying, but you’ve gotta do something different”… When you start out with a negative, the other party will shut down straight away. So start with a positive. Then slip in the part that needs addressing, fixing, or negative. Then end on a positive so they feel supported and encouraged to do something constructive, and not in a framework of feeling defensive.

I had a beautiful grrrlarmy member message me over IG and ask me how she could break up with a parent, as she remembered reading a blog months back on my personal brand’s website.

I suggested she could start with a letter first, or move into a convo.
I said something along the lines of:
“Start with the positive, put in the negative, end on the positive- so it sounds something like this: I love you because x, y, and z however I’m working on myself and need to surround myself with positive strong women. I feel disrespected with the way you’ve treated me lately. I will always love and appreciate everything you’ve sacrificed for me, and I hope you find happiness because you deserve it.”

Proof is in the love heart emoji. This shit works.

The reason why I wanted to write this, is this is the simple shit we aren’t taught in school. Come to think of it, effective communication is INCREDIBLY challenging, and yet the most rewarding tool to have in your tool belt. This is why I have insisted on doing a powerful, life-changing keynote on this topic at #GL18 April 28th in Las Vegas. The entire value of your ticket will be worth this one keynote alone, as I’m about to change your life and set you free. Buy your goddamn ticket here if you haven’t already! You deserve it!

Normally I applaud people for going against the grain and calling it how it is. But this, however- is NOT calling on anything but absolute shite. The Mommy Activist isn’t that foolish to produce something so outlandish- she knows people like myself are going to share and help her get exposure. But at this precise moment I’m too upset to not share my thoughts.

https://www.facebook.com/theactivistmommy/videos/1491494530968691/

She’s claiming that women who’ve participated in #MeToo, and have shared their story of being “a victim”, are in fact NOT a victim and that we (because I was in the MeToo camp before it was a ‘thing’ or a ‘trend’ as she calls it) should have known that our bosses didn’t want us up in their hotel room to discuss giving us a raise.

Let me break it down for you “Mommy”-

At 17 years old- and being clean off meth for 3 Days (despite being the ASB President at a Catholic High School, in a Christian rock band and bound for Stanford… although I knew to “Just say no” to drugs, like my Mommy told me- it didn’t work out that way), I was a lost messy soul. As recommended by my school counselor, I attended a boxing class to meet my new boxing coach to help mentor me and stay off meth.  After all, the root of my wanting to use was because I felt fat, so boxing was a good solution.  Or was it?

Despite the fact my mother taught me “all of the things she teaches her 6 daughters”, I still didn’t know where to draw the line, and at 17 years old let a 72 year old man lure me into his home because I was going to be his “last world champion before he retired”. (I Guess that’s me getting lured into his hotel room to talk about my raise)

Shortly after arriving, he drugged me and I woke up with him inside of me. For the next 10 years I sucked myself down into a world of pain and misery because I believed it to be my fault. I must of lead him on.

This woman claims that those of us in the MeToo camp are prostitutes and not victims.

The most prominent story that comes to my mind is Monica Lewinsky. Imagine being an intern, an impressionable, young woman with the President of the United States showing you attention and interest. Until you’re in that position, and get “sucked” in too close to the fire to be able to use your voice and say no- you couldn’t possibly understand.

The answer isn’t making more women feel like Absolute shit for not knowing the right tools– and in fact I can’t think of a more unhelpful piece of media in my 36 years on this planet.

I am proud of my past. I WAS a victim. But I am NOW a victor and use my experience as strength to help other young girls become grrrls and avoid situations like I’d gotten myself into.

Keep showing up and telling your story and be PROUD of wherever you are in your journey. And remember- “No one has the authority to make you feel inferior without your consent” -E Roosevelt

 

A lot of our Grrrl Army members probably won’t catch much of this story if you’re outside of Australia, but I’m going to write about it anyway.  In fact, I was going to write a blog about rape culture a week ago, and dropped it on draft because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to write it at the time.

2017 has been one helluva year.  We all thought it was going to be dookie with POTUS Dick Splash stepping into the role for the next 4 years.  I don’t like to talk poltics because it divides us.  But lets face it- anyone who pushes anti-abortion rights and jurisdiction over a women’s body, is not revered in my book.  Yes President Dick Splash has actually done some decent things, but if you’re a bit of a conspiracy theorist like I am, you’d find that all President’s, no matter what side- are merely puppets.  But that is neither here nor there.

2017 has turned out to be ‘not too shabby’.  Sure, it was the MOST stressful year of my life, to BOOT- between finances with the business, launching our first live event, getting diagnosed with Graves’ disease, living in a brand new foreign country, for the third time in less than 3 years… it’s been intense.  But all and all, with what’s transpired with the #MeToo campaign, I can say that this has turned out to be a launching pad for what is about to be OUR FKN YEAR Y’ALL!

We are NOT putting up with anymore shit!

Or are we?

So let’s get to Jarred Hayne.  Jarred is a star Rugby player down in Australia, who was drafted to come play in the USA for the San Francisco 49ers.  According to the last article I read, it sounds like Jarred was a ‘good ol’ Mormon boy’ up until he signed on with the niners.  To which point he started partying and ‘acting a fool’, if you will.

Within the last 24 hours, Jarred has been accused of rape.  Read the excerpt from an article below:

On the Sunday afternoon, the woman, identified only as “Ms V”, attended the 49ers game at Levi’s Stadium.
After the game, she and friends went to a restaurant for a meal and drinks, and then went to a bar.
Santa Clara County Court documents say that one of Hayne’s friends was texting and messaging the woman to find out which bar she was drinking at with her friends.

Hayne and his mates then joined the group and, as the documents say, her friends “had never seen [the young woman] so intoxicated”.
What happened next is what will be contested in the civil suit.
Ms V says in her court documents that in the early hours of Monday, December 21, 2015 “despite having minimal interaction that night [Hayne] took the now heavily intoxicated [woman] back to his home in San Jose via Uber”.
It was in his apartment the alleged incident took place with the woman who says she had never had sexual intercourse previously.

The documents say she felt pain, and the following morning woke up among bloodied sheets.
She then took “an undergarment” because she allegedly felt people would not believe the incident had taken place, and for police to test.
Through his legal representatives, Hayne unequivocally and vehemently denies the allegations.
Five days later, Hayne was again promoted to the 49ers’ 53-man roster after guard Alex Boone suffered a knee injury.

Hayne announced his retirement from the NFL on May 15, 2016, and joined the Fiji sevens team in hopes of playing in the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.
In May 2016, the young woman reported the alleged assault to San Jose police.
The District Attorney’s office informed the young woman that “there was not enough evidence to prove the crime of rape beyond a reasonable doubt”.

The thing that makes absolutely zero sense to me, is the part that says “She then took “an undergarment” because she allegedly felt people would not believe the incident had taken place, and for police to test.”  Which would have been somewhere shortly after the incident on December 21, 2015.  But then the article jumps to some bullshit history about what Jarred’s next moves were, then “In May 2016, the young woman reported the alleged assault to San Jose police.”

OK…  Like what the hell happened between January and April?

And when was “Ms V” informed:  “The District Attorney’s office informed the young woman that “there was not enough evidence to prove the crime of rape beyond a reasonable doubt”.?

And as far as the news outlets in Australia?  The tone from officials in the Football leagues:

“Boys will be boys”, and “let justice serve it’s purpose” and “innocent until proven guilty”.. well in America, you’re guilty until proven innocent. So not sure what the fuck happened there.

This is just typical, bullshit club behaviour- basically.

Reminds me of a time many years ago when my Husband was the CEO of the Gold Coast Titans, the team Jarred was last playing for upon his return back from rapeville, USA.  For a brief stint of 4 weeks, I was the assistant strength training coach for the under 20’s until a reporter found some topless photos of me on the internet, and decided to write an “article” framing me as ‘ex porn star’.   The article of course went into the fact that I’d been raped when I was 17, and that I was a reformed drug addict and alcoholic.  But the article turned out to be a massive “scandal” and caused an immense amount of bullying and slander online.

However- the year prior when a New Zealand rugby player married a porn star, the entire country was congratulating him on his ‘success’.  

At the end of the day, Australia needs to take a page out of Hollywoods book and stop glorifying professional athletes as if they’re some sort of Greek mythical God who cannot be touched.

And for any of you grrrls who’ve been down the soul-destroying path of sexual harassment or rape in your past, hopefully this video helps:

https://www.facebook.com/KonfidenceByKortney/videos/1591649067534816/

2018 is our fkn year grrrls!  GET YOUR BATTLE CRY OUT AND READY-

XOMFCEOKO

Have a look below at my highest “liked” (engaging) post on IG to date from my personal account.  It seems like people in general are really ready to embrace the new dawn of strong, powerful females.

 

Because comic books 📚 Back before we launched @grrrl_clothing I was working on a concept. “Ms. Leggy”- Her superpower was making any man fall in love anytime they gazed upon Her anaconda legs. A hard, strong personality like The Rock but an animalistic one when it came time to get down to business. Of course she silenced with her legs. Her job was to infiltrate corrupt monopolies where women were mistreated, seduce the highest ranking officials then 💥 🍉💦💀. Not all is lost – @figlesiase and I will get back to the drawing board eventually. The world needs more media that sits ‘outside the box’ so we can create a new box. One where females aren’t the ones getting raped and assaulted. Movies, books, ads, music videos- all media plays heavily into societal beliefs and what we grow up thinking. Look out homeboy- Ms. Leggy’s coming for ya 🐍🦖 And of course we’ll holler @therealstanlee
Hard to believe but I specifically asked @charleslowthian not to airbrush or photoshop my body when shooting. He’s just that good. And yeaaaaaaaaaa “Leggy” needs heels. She may have the world’s deadliest Thighs but they short like Kevin Hart. Plus the stripper heels turn into daggers 🗡
#comics #fantasy #supershero #killer #concept #legslikekortney #marvel #figure4 #anaconda #comicbooks #comicbook #female #empowerment #womenempowerment

“Photable”, The app that allows you to edit abs onto photos

I’m LIVID right now sisters.

This morning, I wanted to sit down and FINALLY attempt to spend a little time getting caught up on looking for #grrrlarmy posts, when three posts into IG, I get a sponsored post for an app that allows you to edit your photos. But not only is it a beauty filter, you can add ABS and definition into your pictures! (and I believe tattoos?)

As most of you know, I don’t have a snapchat because the filters drive me nuts. They pose to the younger generation as fun and harmless, when in fact they’re not whatsoever. They have an airbrushing effect so every photo looks flawless. Angelic-like even… Programming us to feel disgusted when we look in the mirror and see something other than what our photos exhibit.

Since I’ve been spending a ton of time in South East Asia, I’ve noticed that EVERYONE, men and boys included, use “beauty plus”. This app allows you to basically airbrush your photos in seconds.

I’ve had a few men reply “who cares?” when I recently posted my disgust.

Allow me to explain-

Most people go on social media with no awareness. Just harmlessly scrolling through posts. What happens is, we look at pictures of false realities, and our subconscious mind (the part of our brain that holds all of our beliefs… beliefs that rule our lives and behaviors) tell us that we are not good enough, because we don’t look that flawless. Furthermore, now with this app that allows you to falsify muscle and definition, aka hard fucking work and sacrifice, people who are trying to ‘get in shape’, will slide further down the hole of ‘not being good enough’ because everyone else is achieving results faster than them, and they cannot get their body to look like that no matter how hard they try.

So many women follow other “fitspo” models as motivation, and this is crippling to their self esteem and self worth. Yesterday, I even found MYSELF- someone I consider to be very “switched on” and “self aware”, feeling like I wasn’t doing enough because I didn’t look like this woman who “had her life together” with all her 750k followers, and a baby on the way, with her stunning, perfect photos. After about 20 seconds, I caught my thoughts on auto-pilot, and analyzed the insanity of them. Then realized I might as well be smoking crack, and how silly of me to think that these photos were real. Once again, everyone, anywhere, can make themselves flawless.

The scariest part of all of this, is that I’m 35 years old. There are girls as young as SEVEN years old with their own social media accounts. Furthermore, do you think that public education has been revolutionized in order to teach young people the reality of ‘social media’. I’m afraid not.
(Fear not… @GRRRL we have a plan and have been working on revolutionizing the public education system since 2013 so young people can be equipped with basic tools to lead a happy life and still use social media)

Now, it might be hard for a man to understand on a deep enough level (although there are plenty of men with eating disorders and body dissatisfaction), but women are fed ads over the course of our lifetime that convey a message reading in order to be beautiful, we must not have sun spots, lines, wrinkles, cellulite or dimples. Aka “flaws”. When they aren’t flaws at all. They are in part what makes us human.

It’s OK for men to be showing signs of aging in ads, but for women, it’s not acceptable.

Men are considered “distinguished” whereas women are considered “past her prime”.

Ads sell us an idea of success: What is beautiful and what is desirable. They are also completely unachievable, and not real.

SO- to take all of this false reality a step further and allow fake muscle, I believe we’ll start to see more men falling victim to the self-hatred parody, as well as women. Instead of using our thoughts to figure out how to better the world, we’ll be swirling around in a pool of self pity thinking that we aren’t good enough, nor will we ever be.

The fact that there are studies now being published that THREE YEAR OLDS ARE UNHAPPY WITH THEIR BODY, should be enough of a red flag and obvious point, to answer your question of “who cares”.

I encourage us all to refrain from using the beauty plus and facetune apps, and at the very least disclose when you do.

#grrrlarmy

I know I’m late to the party, as usual. But something needs to be said.

If you think Lady Gaga is fat, you’re a fucking idiot. Full stop-

Apologies to my Grandmother off the bat if you happen to read this. I’ve been doing really well when it comes to curbing my language. However, this topic needs SEVERAL f-bombs sprinkled throughout, so please stop reading if you can’t hang grams.

First off, I didn’t watch the superbowl because A) I’m not a die-hard fan of football and B) I think it’s pathetic that as a country, we have companies and corporations that spend millions of dollars on advertising and putting on a spectacle, when there are SO many homeless veterans (people who fought for your very freedom), women stuck in domestic violence situations, and so on.
Yes! For the love of God it’s “tradition”, and you want to “enjoy your life”, but there comes a time when some traditions need to be broken, and when you need to stop being a self-centred twat and stand up for those who don’t have the capacity to do so. Perhaps go to a junior varsity championship game, or go support your local fucking roller derby team.
Yes, I have my panties in a twist. Perhaps I wouldn’t if there was a female league of sport we could all support to this extent, but fear not, that’s coming.

I digress…..

As I was saying- I didn’t watch the superbowl, so I didn’t see Lady Gaga’s performance live. But what I did see upon awakening this morning, was a truckload of RIDICULOUS comments about her “muffin top”.

Here are a few things to keep in mind for the rest of this year:

1. ALL women have some kind of roll, somewhere. It’s called GRAVITY you moron. You don’t see it or know this to be true, because no woman wants to be NEAR you, let alone come home to your creepy ass apartment, or better yet, the basement of your mom’s house, so how could you know? But at some point in your adult life when you’re able to seduce a woman to take her clothes off around you, you’d realise that it’s human nature.

2. In my experience, women who do not have some amount of body fat on themselves, are 99% of the time, fucking MISERABLE. For a woman to be low enough in body fat to not have any ‘soft bits’, she’s dieting extremely hard, and working out like a fucking freak. I know because I’ve spent a majority of my life in that head space. And it sucks.

3. It’s 2000 and fucking 17- Grow the fuck up

4. Speaking of 2017, welcome to the party. In case you haven’t been introduced to the dawn of the new age, women aren’t here for your approval, and we truly do not give a fuck what you think. When you comment stupid shit like “I was waiting for a guest appearance but all I saw was Gaga’s muffin top”, you look like a SUCH an insecure little cock-sucker who has a 3 inch dick, and drives a ridiculously over-priced lifted F450.

Namaste Bitchesssssssss

KO,
MFCEO

#grrrlarmy