So what defines success?

I’ll tell you what doesn’t; Achieving your “goals”, making hundreds of dollars an hour, or even finding your purpose.

I’ve done all 3. And yet I still manage to make myself feel miserable every day because it’s “not enough”. I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure out what it “is” I’m supposed to be doing on this earth. Even with achieving 8 years of continual sobriety and 7.5 off of drugs- Even having a business where I don’t have to report to a superior; I AM the superior- Even being able to travel and not wake up to an alarm clock- Even having created a brand that is actually changing the world and is going to be bigger than Nike in 10 years time- SOMETHING is always not right.

Our clothing isn’t fashionable enough. The website has a problem. I want to be spending more time meditating. I want to meditate period. I want to have a more developed VMO (the teardrop muscle on the inside of your knee). I want to grow faster.

And on and on and on.

The ONLY thing I’ve found in life that makes me feel successful is when I’m in direct service to someone else who is in true need. I’m not talking about in need of an email answered. I’m talking about someone who needs to be heard because they feel alone and like life is not worth living. Someone who can’t stop drinking or doing drugs. Someone who has a teenage girl who is cutting themselves and they don’t know where to turn.
THAT kind of service.

The only challenge with that, is for me that’s difficult to measure.

So the other day I was doing something I hardly do anymore because when you devote every cell in your being to your enterprise- to your WHY, you can easily lose your libido.

While I was in the shower- I realized that even after 7 years, I’m more attracted to my husband than I was when we said our Do’s. I wasn’t thinking about someone else. Or needing to watch other people. I simply closed my eyes and thought about my husband and blew the roof off.

So what is the definition of success?

Is it a certain number hitting your bank account every day? And even then will that truly make you happy?  Will that change and is it ok for that number to change?  Or is success finding your voice and leaving a miserable relationship?  Is it coming out?  Or is it having a child?  Or do you just ‘think’ that’s what success is because society tells you that’s what we’re supposed to be doing as women?

My point is this; Everyone has a different deferent version of success. What’s important is that YOU figure out what that looks like to you. Not society. Not your parents. But YOU.
And by finding out that means DO SOME WORK!  Put pen to paper. Isolate yourself and do some writing. Ask yourself some important questions. Take time. Don’t rush it.

You deserve to connect with your innermost self and find out what that success looks like unattached by what everyone else around you ‘thinks’ it is. Too often we let our heads (thinking) define success and not our hearts (feeling) what success is.

Because I’ll tell you what: That O face sure FELT like success to me. And the O looked like my significant other.

Here’s to many more successful days grrrls!

Comment below what success looks like to you.

2 replies on “What Defines Success; Thinking Of My Husband While Masterbating?!

  • Laquisa Sprewell

    This is dope Kortney! I have issues with anxiety, Crohn’s disease and some family of origin issues (who doesn’t?) Because of these things, I would have to say my idea of success is to live a life free from excessive worry.
    I have a tendency to worry about what I haven’t done, what needs to be done and what I should or could be doing. As one of my good friends would say “the thing about focusing on what you SHOULD do is that, if you keep shoulding, you’ll should all over yourself.”
    I’m learning to relax and not overdo it. I’m also trying to learn how to relax about relaxing, because I tend to be hard on myself when I’m relaxing.
    Anyway, thank you for posting. This was a much needed read.

    Reply
    • The MFCEO

      Oh how I can relate to all of what you said! I have ‘it’s progress’ on one wrist, and ‘not perfection’ on the other. Best tattoos! Should all over yourself is a great one, hey! I’ve recently been saying “I choose” instead of “I have to”. Helps shape perspective. You’ve got this grrrl!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *